AUNT ELLIE, THIS IS FOR YOU. I REALLY THINK I LOOK CRAZY!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK???
OFF TO CHURCH WE GO!!!WE WENT TO A NEW CHURCH TONIGHT IN TEMPLE, TX. IT WAS AWESOME!!! MAYA WENT TO THE NURSERY FOR HER VERY FIRST TIME. SHE CRIED A LITTLE WHEN I FIRST LEFT HER BUT THEN SHE WAS OKAY. SHE WAS SO BAD THIS AFTERNOON. SHE JUST CRIED AND SCREAMED FOR HOURS. NOTHING I DID WOULD CALM HER. SO WE BOTH ENDED UP IN TEARS. SHE WAS JUST SO SLEEPY AND WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP. SO I CONCLUDED THAT I WAS A HORRIBLE MOTHER. SHE WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. I THINK SHE WAS GLAD TO SEE ME ATER CHURCH. SHE JUST KEPT GIVING ME BIG SLOPPY KISSES. I MUST CONFESS THAT I AM SO TIRED AND SINGLE PARENTHOOD IS WAY HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. I WAS ADJUSTING GREAT UNTIL I HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK. NOW, IT IS LIKE I AM STARTING OVER. I HATE TO LEAVE MAYA BUT I HAVE TO WORK. SHE DOES GREAT WITH DEBORAH!!! HOWEVER, THIS MORNING AT 3 AM MY CELL PHONE RINGS AND IT IS DEBORAH WANTING TO KNOW WHAT SHE SHOULD DO. MAYA WAS SOBBING FOR ME. I HOPE LEAVING HER GETS BETTER. I ONLY LEAVE HER WHEN I HAVE TO. I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY. SHE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY AND I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HER.
EDITED TO ADD: I AM NOT GOING TO GO IN TO MUCH DETAIL BUT PLEASE PRAY HARD FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH GUATEMALAN ADOPTIONS. WE NEED TO DO WHATEVER WE CAN TO GET THESE BABIES HOME. WE WILL FIGHT TO THE END!!!!!!!
10 comments:
Poor Mama! Starting back to work and leaving your baby with someone else is tough. It will get easier for both of you guys. Hang in there. I have so felt your "I suck as a mom" pain.
Virtual hugs!
Kerri and Ruby
Welcome to the wonderful world of "mommy guilt". That lovely feeling that will persist for...oh...18 years or more! ;)
Ginger, you are a very good mom.
Repeat that to yourself often.
(((HUGS)))
d:)
It definitely gets better! We all struggle with the Mommy guilt. It's just part of the deal. Just think of it this way, she may cry, but she is crying for you and you are there for her. That is the best thing ever!
Ginger you are a good mother. You will have up and downs all through her life. It doesn't stop when they leave home either. It just part of being a mom. You always wonder what you could have done to make things different or better. Not meant to be depressing but the truth. I have 4 as you know from 30 to 19 and still worry about them every day.
Love the Tails! Now she still looks like the little girl! The lower Tails made her look older!
As for Mommy Hood... I know exactly what you are saying... But it does get better... WAY BETTER...
Soon, Trust me when I say this, REALLY SOON, when you come home, she will look at you and say with the most sweetest, and soft voice... Hi Mommy... then you will pick her up... And just wait... Those little arms wrap around you neck and you will get the biggest smoch, then ALL OF A SUDDEN... she will want to be put back down! As quick as that... It's over... Of course you want to still hold her and snuggle with her... But... Nope... you will have to wait for the tomorrow to do it again...
As for her crying... it will pass... She will realize you will be back! YOU ALWAYS HAVE!
Guilt... Isn't that what US girls do to our mommies??? We wrap our mommy's around our finger and make them feel guilty! You have been there, you know what she is doing! So grin and bear it... Cause, the Guilt trips will never stop!!!!
HUGS
Ellie
Oh Ginger. My heart breaks thinking of how that must make you feel. I am sure she will adjust and come to know that you come back to her each and every day.
She is positively adorable in her piggies.
Remember there have been many, many changes
for your little girl, and you. She may feel out of sorts now and then. But now that you are settled,
a routine will be excellent for her. They start to thrive then. Keep everything consistent for her.
She will feel very secure, and know that you come back everyday. You MUST sleep when she sleeps,
Grab every nap you can.
When I was at work I would feel so sad to be away from my baby. I tried to focus on how I was providing for him by being at work. That helped.
Your a wonderful mom Ginger.
Ginger,
You are a wonderful mother, and Maya just loves you so much. Look how well she has adjusted so far. She will adjust to this also.
Not a day goes by that I don't doubt myself as a mother, I guess it's just part of the job.
Hang in there girl, you are doing a great job!!
Hope it gets easier ..... Love the pigtails !! What a dolly !!
LOVE the pigtails! You are a WONDERFUL mother. Soon she will be confident in the fact that you always come back. I'm sure it's horribly heartbreaking right now....I can't imagine. So thankful you are finally home with your sweet Maya.
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